Kissing on the Streets of New York...

I want to kiss you on the streets of New York.
As chilled winds draw us together.
Let our lips burn away the cold that push the weaker indoors,
And away from outside's embrace.






I want to kiss you on the streets of New York.
Not on their sides, but in their middle,
Where traffic stops and horns begin to bellow
And our passions drown out the noises of our interruption.







I want to kiss you on the streets of New York.
For they were not made merely for traveling,
Going about restlessly from one venue to the next,
But were laid for kissing, for this moment, right here, right now.







I want to kiss you on the streets of New York.
Where the stars aligned and Fate did her twisting to get us to this point;
To this crossing of streets.
Not so we might get somewhere by following their paths,
But only to be lost in rapture.






I want to kiss you on the streets of New York.
Where partially parted lips converge and love is forged,
While kissing on the streets of New York.

Where It's Snowing...

I want to go where it's snowing, to catch flakes upon my clothes;
To walk on a blanket that has been freshly laid upon the frozen Earth.

I want to watch the blackness of the streets fade under white
Layers at twilight shedding and forgetting the drabness of its
Asphalt covered coat.

I want to catch the frigid flakes upon my tongue
As my nose is stung by chilly winter winds.

I want to go where it's snowing and listen to the silence
As Earth's wintry bed is made,
In hushed hues of opaque frozen flakes
Quieting all that exists under its blanket.

Manhattan Declaration - A Call of Christian Conscience...

In times of persecution, the churches of God thrive and grow. The pains of persecution sent into action the True Church into a renewed mindset deprived then of complacency and apathy for the lives which Christians are to live. From persecution, stands for that which is right and holy are made at the flogging post and from the fires of flesh burned at the stake, and from diaspora.

In times of persecution, transformation and reformation both occur as the dire straights of the world are produced upon those who would walk in meekness and humility before God.

In times of immorality, however it has caused men to write and declare and to stand for truth though the flicker of the flame grows dim in righteous living there are those who stand for God and His holiness. We are in that time again.

The Manhattan Declaration (which can be read here) is a declaration and a line drawn in the sand for those who would live rightly in these lasts days. The Manhattan Declaration has been written and is signed by 148 church leaders as a treatise affirming the Christian position against:

1. Genocide of the Un-born
2. Redefining Marriage
3. Political Correctness - Barring the Freedom of Religion
   

This treatise is a call to civil disobedience.

Ezekiel 34: 1-6 - False Pastor's Be Warned...

I wrote the following message last week and have held it until I was more certain that it could be shared. It is inspired from Ezekiel 34: 1-6 and is a warning to False-Pastors:

Destruction to you "Shepherd-Leaders" who make yourselves fat from the meat of the sheep of which you are supposed to protect! You have exploited them for too long feeding your greed and leaving them exposed as prey and vulnerable. Guess what? It's you now who I'm going to expose for the wolves you are. Guess what? It is now you who will be made vulnerable and I will be the predator that strips your skin from the bones! I will devour you with My crushing jaws and show you what it is like. You shepherds were supposed to be the protectors of my sheep, but you have become their exploiters. Not any longer! I'm putting an end to your greed. "You drink their milk, make clothes from their wool, you roast the lambs, and don't feed or protect them." Well not anymore! I am now their shepherd and will shadow over them with my protection. They will eat from grasses not trampled under your feet, but that which is lush and green and supplied by Me. I will fight off their attackers and thieves; I will care for them with My life as you should have. They will find peace and drink from cool streams. I am the Great Shepherd; no need any longer to fear little sheep, for I will gather you back into my protective fold. Sheep, my little lambs, consider yourselves rescued! My fold is safe for you unlike the folds of the murderous shepherds who think you exist for their benefit. You are My sheep. I've purchased you. These exploitative shepherds are seeing their end. I am seeing to it!

Inspired from Ezekiel 34: 1-6 (The Message)... November 13th, 2009

The End of a Journal...

This morning I finished my latest journal. I've been journaling as a passionate therapy of devotion since around 2006. Since then I've journaled almost daily with the exception of most weekends and a few spaces in between. This accounts for five journals and 960+ pages of prayers, musings, poems, complaints, ramblings, scripture commentary, short stories, dirges, dreamings and five times a year I write dedications to my children and wife on their birthdays.

I randomly like to turn to past entries from years gone by to see what my mood was like, or what was happening in my world then. I am often surprised at what I had written having forgotten so easily what went on a year + ago. Sometimes I cringe; sometimes I laugh, but I always remember.

Journaling in years gone by has been for me therapy. Having gone through a spate of depression or down times, journaling to me was a way to cry out to God presenting Him with my fears, failures and looking to clear my head of messes I've created there; or just to have someone I could express myself to without fear of what they thought of me at that moment. Very therapeutic, very healing - crying out to God, that is.

Just this week, I looked at my stack of journals sitting on the shelf in my closet and a strange thought came to me about my mortality. I wondered, "How many more journals are left in me?" I looked at them sitting motionless on the shelf not saying anything vocally audible but whispering my life from their pages. How many more whispers are in there, I wondered again? When will I have penned the last sentence in their pages? How many journals will there have been if I maintain this passion of devotion? Ten? Thirty? A hundred?

I was reminded that one day, perhaps one morning as I'm caught up in prayer in those journaled walls that I will pen my last "Amen". Many of my daily entries end with that single-word-sentence... "Amen." One day that word will have so much meaning for a life lived full, "so be it." And for all intensive purposes, bodily it will be so.

We are given one chance to live our lives; and though our bodies end for a short time our lives are never over. We will write journals too in eternity, but different sorts of journals. Journals that don't hail the passing of a day, but a continuing of an existence that never passes but only perpetuates and continues forward. It's hard to fathom, but there time won't pass... it will only grow, and not be able to be measured to show any limitations. Our journals there won't begin with dates, neither will the entries end for everything there will always have been and will continue to always be. The Light there casts no shadows of darkness, nor will the light pass overhead so that we can count it's passing. The Light there will envelope us from every side and angle so that no darkness exists.

Our journals will be written not by fading pen but by eternally worded phrases that drip from lips that will never dry or parch. They will remain fresh and new and whetted by the Spirit of the One we are completely intertwined with there. The branches will not overbear the Vine nor hide it in anyway, but will be sustained by its Life.

Today, or tomorrow, I will purchase my new latest journal and begin to fill its pages with much the same things as before only in a newer past-tense. The pen will fade and the pages of the new latest journal will become brittle and earn a yellow hue, but the Light that writes eternal journals within will continue to grow and never fade. Though my wrist tingles and arm goes numb from pains of writing, though my hand becomes frail and bent in years to come, the whispers from the pages reach His ears and are never forgotten or yellowed with time. "Amen."

These Three Friends...

Where has Inspiration gone? It seems to have fled from me - from every area of my life. My life isn't lived with her; my spirit isn't being called by Inspiration's wooing. I am not living inspired even unto He having been drained of her friendship.

Where has Desire gone? When will she come back to me bringing with her Inspiration? Their companion, Passion, is gone as well. These three are Friends of the heart and all seem to have abandoned me.

Or maybe I exhausted them months ago and now they sleep, being rejuvenated to be at their best for me again. Oh how I miss them while in their slumber. I wish for them to awaken so that my heart can beat happily again.

Should I awaken them by force, beating upon the door of their dormancy? Is that even possible? Or do they posses wills of their own not able to be turned by my knocking?

What about Desire? Can I will her into life and submission forcing her to awaken by determined actions? But then will it be Desire who is awakened, or maybe only her antithesis Forced-Determination? For the two are not the same.

Desire, she lives deep within and drives with ease over the difficulty of all hindrances. Determination, she is like moss that grows on the tough skin of trees that lives only on the surface and doesn't affect from deep within. Determination seems waning and comes and goes as the winds of my will blows... or not. She quickly changes her face to Complacency and then to Apathy.

Father, can You awaken them gently? They respond to You; You made them. Ask them to get up and to awaken from their sleep and visit with me again. They are needed. When they are gone I simply meander along. Undriven by deepest Desire; unmoved from lack of Passion; not expressive for Inspiration, she has gone as well. This is no life, and purpose is eluded as I sleep too in the absence of my Friends.

You, Father, aren't worshiped well - for Your longing is for more than robotic rhythmic repetitions of catechisms not written in heart.

These three missing Friends of mine make life lived unto You vivid and boisterously exuberant and alive in color. These three are the vehicles of Your joy expressed from once depraved hearts; as my heart remains a pen and ink drawing on pale canvas until it is again painted by the Tripartite Camaraderie gone missing.

Given-ness to You then flows like clear rivers cool and ready for swimming when my Friends are here. Have I yet made my case, Father, for You to awaken them so they can come out again to play?

Staff Appreciation Day...

This past Sunday (11/01/09) my church "appreciated" us. Arguably, they've been appreciating us ever since we arrived five years ago this month.

Anytime someone makes a fuss over you - in a good way, that is - two thoughts are evoked. First, an overwhelming since of happiness comes over you. To stop and think that people care about you for doing what God has called you to do, causes me to go to that happy place in my heart.

Secondly, an overwhelming sense of embarrasment quickly rushes in because someone is making a fuss over you. The thought of being appreciated just overwhelms you with love and acceptance and thankfulness. But I can never get past the thoughts of, "Aw that's nice, but please... it's not necessary." But then the happiness rushes in again.

The week leading up to Staff Appreciation Day encouraged me especially. Every time I thought of the coming week I would just get happy. Happy isn't the greatest most explicitive adjective in the English language to use, but it's the one that comes to mind that expresses how I would feel. It's fun to be appreciated.

So then the embarrassment began...

One of our youth leaders (my right hand man), Aaron Griffin, went to the lectern and began to read some statements about Pamela and I. His comments - as is the nature of youth ministry - were very funny. The things that he said about our family were so unbelieveable it made me want to meet the family he was describing! He said a lot of nice things and I hope one day we live up to them all...

One of our adult youth leaders (my left hand man), Kenny Hand, then called us to come forward. He nervously began to explain what they had in store for us. Pamela and I will be married for 10 years this June, so the church is sending us to the Caribbean! They've paid for a full week cruise for just Pamela and myself. We couldn't believe it!

But the appreciation didn't stop there... Kenny then said that the church wanted to do something above and beyond the cruise, so they bought me a new laptop that I got to pick out all by myself! I've been wanting a laptop for years, but as saving money would have it... there was always something else to spend the "computer fund" on (typical of having four small children!).

The church also gave each of our children (did I mention we have four?) an envelope with twenty dollars a piece for them to have. The kids - especially Caleb our oldest - were astonished that the church gave them money! This spoke volumes to them of community and love from a church.

Pastor Daniel also sent Pamela and our Administrative Assistant, Letitia, a beautiful flower arrangement - I tried to claim Pamela's for her at first, but she beat me to the card! I understand he also had to send his wife, Benita flowers as well!

We are so blessed to have a loving church family. Pamela made an astute observation. She said that it speaks volumes of the church to give so extravagantly since we've been here for five years. Normally, the "honeymoon" stage of the staff/church relationship is where they kill you with kindness. Our church family is doing it well into the relationship.

I told Pamela on the way home from church that morning that "This is like Christmas!" She replied, "It's better than Christmas, because we actually get stuff!"

Even without the gifts, there has never been a week when I've not felt loved and appreciated by our church - and that's not something I say lightly. We - I - appreciate our church family and our pastor and our youth leaders for the love they continually show us! Here's to five more years...

Oh, and by the way, I'm blogging this at Barnes & Noble from the laptop the church gave me... Bah dah bah bah baaa... I'm loving it! (said to the McDonald's theme song...)