New Orleans Mission Trip Day: 4

Day four was our half work day and half free day to see the city of New Orleans with our youth groups individually.

My team started our work site day back at First Pilgrim in the Upper Ninth Ward. We had arranged the day before to be able to go to each of the classes and do a couple of songs then I would lead them in a story of the Gospel. Aaron Griffin brought his guitar and sang "Every Move I Make/Waves of Mercy" (or better known as the "Nanana Nananana" song... there was some controversy within our group as to the actual name of the song), and the teens taught them the motions to it. Then He led the class in the worship song, "Freedom Reigns". All of those little kids closed their eyes and raised their hands with us and worshipped Jesus. Even the teachers joined us in worship.It was amazing.  After those singing, I led them in the true story of Shrek the Sheep who got lost from his shepherd in New Zealand (which I kept saying Scotland...) and grew a coast of will that weighed over 60 pounds. Then I read them the parable of Jesus and the shepherd who went searching for His one lost sheep and leaving the ninety-nine to find it. What an awesome day. The kids really enjoyed the story and songs, and our teens loved ministering to the children.

After our service day we went back to the base church to get ready for our day on the town.

Our first stop was Bourbon Street and the French Quarter. What an eclectic group of people. From street performers, to artist, full jazz bands, and a mixture of aromas that ranged from putrid to delicious, this place was fascinating and sad ask in one colorful brush stroke. The locals were easily distinguishable from the tourists. Oddly, the locals were friendly and receptive to receiving our Gospel tracts, the tourists.... not so much. We then made our way around Jackson Square and the fortune tellers to Cafe du Monde where we enjoyed the most delicious beignets and Café au lait. There was so much confectioners sugar on these little French fritters from heaven that we each looked as though we had just finished baking for days in the kitchen. The contrast of beauty and artistry to the sin-devastated humanity we witnessed seemed surreal at times. Men passed out drunk on doorsteps, just laying there in a stupor and women working the streets to turn tricks for the god of Mammon they easily worshipped, punctuated the battle for humanity that Christ came win. It reminded me that this world is not our home and the purpose we followers of Christ have been born into.

From there we went to Mahony's in the Garden District for dinner (yes, we had dessert before dinner... that's how we roll on a REVOLVE! trip!). Pamela, my wife,  had seen Mahony's featured on an episode of Guy Fieri's "Dinners, Drive-Ins and Dives" on the Food Network. It did not disappoint! The fried oyster po-boy and fried green tomatoes were out of this world good! We left there and walked for blocks and blocks through the Garden District. This was the uppity party place of New Orleans, and it was packed with extremely beautiful homes and shops. As a side note, author Anne Rice has a home in this neighborhood I found out from a friend later that evening. We stopped for ice cream and drinks and then headed back to our bar church.

The break in the middle of the week was much needed and appreciated. It rejuvenated us to finish the week strong, and helped us to connect more deeply to the community and culture of New Orleans.  By this point in the week, we had all pretty much fallen in love with the people, the city and the smells of New Orleans.

New Orleans Mission Trip Day: 3

On our second full day we had tremendous opportunities to help serve the First Pilgrim Day Camp in the upper Ninth Ward. We started by cleaning the kitchen after breakfast. The kids swept the floors, wiped down tables and gathered up all trash. After breakfast we moved old furniture out of the classrooms and moved them to the dumpsters near the street. Once we had all the furniture out there many of the residents began to go through everything to get what they could use. As they began to go through everything, this gave us an opportunity to assist them so we could share the Gospel with them.

The first two Aaron Griffin and I were able to help were two prostitutes. One was an African-American lady named Bob. The second, her "girlfriend", was named Philia -- I think. She had a pink and blue looking barbed-wire tattoo across her face. We loaded furniture onto my truck and drove the furniture ten blocks to their house. Once we unloaded it on the sidewalk, I gave them each a tract and began stumbling through witnessing to them. I really flubbed it up being so nervous. We got in the truck and left. Feeling dejected, I stopped the truck, jumped out and went back to them. I told them that I had been nervous trying to tell them about Jesus and I wanted to be more clear that Christ can transform any life. They thanked me, and Bob said that her life was messed up, and thanked us for sharing.

Afterwards, we walked through the neighborhood and left tracts in various locations, as well as handing them to all the people we met. One thing that struck me is how receptive people are to taking them. The people of New Orleans are extremely friendly from our team's observation. Even with the two prostitutes, when we talked about Jesus, the one, Philia, let me know real quick that she didn't believe in Jesus "like that" but told that me that she was all about community and appreciated what we were doing. Unfortunately, for her, appreciating Christ doesn't save anyone, but with her open heart to what we were presenting her perhaps she will allow the Holy Spirit to penetrate her heart and open her eyes that Satan has blinded.

I pray for our two friends and hope they will read the tract and come to know Christ. Keep praying for us, and for all the others working all throughout the world to advance God's kingdom. They are on the field constantly while we are weekend warriors, of sorts. They need our prayer support.

New Orleans Mission Trip Day: 2

One of the trials of being on an urban mission, at least here this week in New Orleans, is that the guys' shower trailer has no hot water. I don't mean this in a metaphorical, figurative way like, "I can never get to the showers in time to grab be any hot water." I mean that there's no working water heater at all, and the showers spew nothing but bone chilling, my-breath-is-gone ice cold water. Oh the trials of life! :)

We had a great second day. There were a lot of challenges presented, but all in all we're having a great time learning to follow Jesus and trying to make disciples for His kingdom.

Our guys and gals from REVOLVE! are doing really well. They're doing what is asked of them, they're keeping good spirits and excited of the potential opportunities they'll possibly get to share the Gospel. It's only our second full day of actually being on our work sites. Will they have this same resolve on days three, four or five? That remains to be seen. My wife Pamela and I are going to do our best to mix in enough fun, rest and free time to keep their spirits high.

One of the groups our teens are in canvassed a neighborhood to invite children to come to a mini-one-day-VBS. They went door to door handing out fliers. Some had the door slammed in their faces, and then no one showed up for the event. This was a blow to their emotions. Wanting to feel apart of something great, their hopes for the day were dashed. How many foreign missionaries have worked and given their entire lives in a nation not their own and never see a single convert?

The prize has to be Jesus and not results.
Lastly, my group helped out at an inner city day camp. We got to spend the day trying to be useful to the workers. Pamela and I cleaned the dinning room for the workers. Aaron, Corey, Caleb and myself moved tables down a flight of steps down,  the street and then back up two flights of winding stairs, across the gym and up on the stage. It took several hours, and I'm sure we burned a thousand calories for Jesus!

For some reason there were people sitting in their vehicles up and down the street where we were working. I think they might have been waiting for a clinic visit of some type. Aaron and I grabbed tracts and walked up and down the street handing them out for people to read.

Several of the others worked with children, painted an inner city gym and various other work projects. God is blessing our efforts, we're drawing closer to Him and closer to each other. We thank Christ for opportunity to serve.

New Orleans Mission Trip Day: 1

Our first day on our REVOLVE! Student Ministry trip went off without a hitch... well almost.

One of the vehicles that we had planned on taking had some technical difficulties. We were in a dilemma. I was trying to think of how we were going to make up the seats and luggage space. We were at church, and the plan was to stay through worship -- since the worship leader was going to New Orleans with us -- then head out to the Big Easy. I began to pray telling God how we needed transportation, etc. I like informing Him of things going on in the earth, as if He want aware. I asked to borrow Blake Gilham's extra vehicle, which he obliged. We were in the sanctuary, worship service was finished and Pastor Roger Daniel was having prayer for our group. Kenny Hand, a member of our church, and Blake's father-in-law, followed us out and offered his Nissan Titan. Prayer answered!

We drove for hours, God's hand of protection was upon us. On the outskirts of New Orleans, near Lake Pontchatrain, I saw an alligator on the side of the interstate. Day.  Was.  Made!

The teens that are with us are having a great time so far. We drove through a homeless, tent city, type of area and we were all surprised at how people live in our country. It was sobering and a stark reminder that our problems are sometimes not problems, but more like inconveniences. It made me pray immediately and be thankful to God for all our blessings.

Well we begin day two this morning and we all go out to our work or ministry sites. I'll post more later on how that went. Thanks so much for your prayers!

Life Is In the Details...

It's weird sometimes the day that stretches out before us. We completely expect one thing, then something totally unexpected turns us from the ordinary to the extraordinary, or perhaps the horrifying. A day can't be predicted no matter how many ordinary days have seemed to line up endlessly.
Life is weird like that. Each day a unique finger print taking us from where we were to where we should be. They don't seem any different than the one before but the subtle nuances that seemingly unfold before our very eyes, unnoticed, turn it into a completely new and different day than the one before. We complain about the monotony of our lives but it's just bc we've forgotten how to notice the little tiny details that make our days unique and important.

I want to pay better attention to those important details. For instance, Annsley, my daughter, asked me this week had I noticed how long her hair has grown. Sadly, I hadn't. But once she pointed it out to me it was apparent that it has grown much longer. Where was I while Repunzle was growing her locks to escape from this tower of childhood? I was probably worrying about some unimportant details of life, too wrapped up in those to notice this important detail. It's a shame how we live; so focused on the big picture that we miss the real life happening around us in real time. 

This moment right now is where our focus should be. Not eyeing the distant road sprawling out before us that we may never travel in the first place. I want to live here, in this moment, and then in the next so I don't miss my daughter's hair growing longer. I don't want to miss the growing tower of marker notches creeping up my sons' bedroom door frame; inch by inch until I measure my sons not by how tall they've grown but by how far away they have moved from us. They won't always live within our reach, and that doesn't happen over night.

Thank you Father in Christ for life, and help me to enjoy it and cherish it as you have given it to me. Help me not to wish it away with all my future planning to one day long to have it back.  You keep tomorrow... help me to live with you today in each now-noticed-moment of precious, fleeting life.

Something I've Learned This Week...

It's simple, basic, elementary, really, but has been difficult for me to learn.  Here it is...

God loves me.
 

I was so afraid that when I stepped down as pastor last week that the earth was going to open up and swallow me down into the depths of its fire-lined belly. Well, as of yet I'm still atop the soil.  I'm sure that can change in a moment; I'm not sure how fast news travels to Heaven these days.  Before I dig any deeper a hole for myself, I must say that I was relieved to find that God's nature hasn't changed.  I don't want to disappoint God.  I love Him so very much, and to find out the truth that He loves me more than I could ever possibly love Him has been so freeing.  Not freeing in the sense that I can do whatever I want and not have the bowels of Hell open up to me, but freeing in the sense that I don't give him much credit.

He is famous for saying, "I'll never leave you or forsake you."  Did you catch that?  He said, "Never."  I see my children doing things that disappoint me all the time.  In fact, just a couple of weeks ago, I had to take my oldest son trekking across our neighborhood to apologize to a girl in his class on the bus.  He and another little boy were caught saying some inappropriate things by the bus driver and I received "the phone call."  In that moment, I wanted to spank and ground that kid until Christ Himself returned to forgive him personally.  I was very disappointed because I know my son is better than his actions.

It occurred to me, however, on the way home from a very embarrassing trip to our neighbors -- for us both, I might add -- that he, Caleb, was my son and my love for him was never in question.  Had he disappointed me?  Yes.  Had he disappointed himself?  Sure.  Was he wrong in what he did?  Absolutely.  But my love for him was unaffected.  In fact it was a bit of a wake up call that I needed to show more love and care for him.  He's growing up.  He's becoming a teenager.  He wants to fit in and be liked, and is struggling through that like we all have.  In this moment and time, he needs love from a father that doesn't ever give up on him.

I'm thankful that I keep learning this myself.  Was God disappointed in me when I stepped down?  Maybe.  Was I disappointed in myself?  Absolutely.  Was I wrong for stepping down?  Perhaps.  But the truth in all of this is that God's love for me IS NOT in question.  And I can live with that.  What I can't live with are anymore embarrassing trips through the neighborhood to have my son apologize to a child and her parents for being, well, an idiot.  But if we all live long enough, and the hole in the earth doesn't present itself, I'm sure I'll make that trip again at some point.  I'll just be making it with a child that I love dearly enough to go with them to knock on the door of our disappointments.

Thank you God for loving me.

Why I Stepped Down as Sr. Pastor

This past Sunday (05/05/13) I stepped down as Pastor of the Alton Church in Birmingham after only eight months. It came as a shock to the congregation. Some close friends of mine knew the personal inner struggle I had with this role, and my resignation came as no surprise. However to the majority this was somewhat shocking news to be stepping down so abruptly.

The purpose of this post is to be clear as to the reasoning for my early departure from this local church.
 
First of all, no one "ran me off." In fact, the people of the church were completely kind, generous and gracious to our family. The church people accepted my wife and children with love and open arms and many great, lasting relationships have been forged in this short time. They accepted me as well, and most all went along with my cracked-pot ideas (my term). Naturally, there was resistance to some of the change, but these were openly discussed, debated and resolved.

Secondly, this was a personal decision.

The decision to step down was made prior to Easter, and I took the following weeks leading up to my resignation to rethink, pray and find peace before making it final. As a side note, I found it quite striking that the Pope stepped down recently as well. Benedict was the first Pope to resign the position in 600 years.  It struck me as odd as well to learn that the overseer of our denomination gave his resignation this past Monday..., the same week I resigned. I don't know if there was something in the air, but resigning seemed to be vogue.

Which leads me to my reason(s) for resigning...

Ministry, preaching the Word, praying for people, making a positive impact in peoples' lives and discipling followers of Christ are the elements that really make me tick as a minister.  The details of being in the ministry and the huge cloud of burden that follows you everywhere you go is what so discourages me.

There's an element of pastoring a congregation, as good as that congregation may be (which is the case at Alton - good people), that is completely stressing and worrisome. I found that this burden didn't cause me to pull more closely to Christ as one might imagine, but I started pulling away. Bible study, prayer, sermon prep all became a worrisome thing to me because having become fixated on what I perceived people wanting instead of focusing on what Christ desires.  I had it backwards.  People pleasing is a bitter poison that drains God's ministers and places said minister in bondage. Unfortunately, I never properly separated the man from the ministry taking anything and everything very personally.  I didn't want pastoring to change me, my temperament and approachable personality. I didn't want to become calloused and shut off from people as I've seen happen with some pastors.

I became bogged down with budgets, music, problems, programs, offenses of others, unfaithful people, people leaving to go elsewhere, murmurs, complaints, formats of service, worship styles, hospital visits, full time work, full time family (my priority after loving God), the distance we traveled from home to church, my own paranoia and plain old-downright tiredness. There seemed to be no relief in sight and I let that thought of hopelessness get the best of me.

I'm not saying this is okay or even right. I'm not justifying anything either.  I'm just saying that this all factors in to why I stepped down. I'm not even saying that I went about it the right way.  I'm sure the Pharisees will line up to privately and publicly jeer, throw stones and question my trust in God. And that's okay..., I questioned it too. Pastoring is a tough work for tough men with thick skin. I am neither tough nor thick skinned.

Finally, I am, however, grateful for the opportunity to have tried. I'm thankful for all the friends who traveled with me through my times of despair that went unnoticed on the surface. And I love God for teaching me a thing or two about who I am and, more importantly, about who He is.

I'm not stepping away from ministry per se, but I am stepping back to give God space to help me deal with my insecurities and trust issues in a toned down role at a local church in Bessemer under a great Pastor.

I love God so much. This hasn't changed. And greater than this is the fact that His love for me hasn't changed either. I'm not junk being discarded. I'm gold being refined in the fire by the Master. 

Thanks to everyone for your continued love. Any other rumor about my stepping down is just that... Rumor. Any speculation as to other reasons I stepped down is just that... Speculation. I can't stop either, and that's okay. If you hear the rumor that I can't hack it as a Pastor, well... that one may be true. :) I still love Christ and His calling and I know that He's still working on me.