Some Frustrations on Talking...

What was I really expecting?  Someone to fix me?  Someone to really tell me what is on God's heart? Did I really think that talking to a stranger would someone how shed light into murky twilight?

The ability to listen... really listen is lost if it ever was found.  I've lost it; you've probably have lost it as well.   It cost money to have someone listen, comes in bursts of 55 minutes and at the end you can get drugs. Really, all we do is listen to respond.  We're so busy thinking of what will we say next to this person who is going on and on about themselves, while all along we've zoned out on what they are saying to see what we will say next.  How do I know this is true?  Because I do it.  Because it was done to me yesterday.  We must all be in the same boat not listening to each other just aimlessly being pushed about by the current of the ocean called conversation. The ocean's name should be changed to Monologue.

I don't know what my expectations were of a meeting I had yesterday to discuss spiritual matters, but whatever they were they weren't met.  Could I have met them if someone else came to me? Of course not.  And what, again, was I really expecting?  The guy to roll out blue prints of my life and say, "Put a nail in plank "A" to attach it to platform "B", then "ta da!" your life now has purpose.

That's all we want, right?  Purpose and direction.  Why, then, do I expect that two guys speaking together on the topic of something so specifically unknown will more easily come to the "God's Heart" conclusion than actually going to God and seeking His heart?  I guess I would just like things quicker than God cares to answer. But what's so bad about waiting on Him?  Okay, so God doesn't speak to me in a burning bush... doesn't that just mean that I keep doing what I'm doing until something is specifically said to me in my heart from God; all the while trusting that God is tremendously more skilled in getting me where He wants me than I ever have been of going to that same place by my efforts of following?

We all want to be heard to some degree, rarely do we find anyone listening.  I bet Jesus was a good listener... and, yeah, He got crucified too. 

Dear Diary... Frustrated.  But I will wait upon the Lord... that's probably the point of all my frustrations in the first place.