Give Thanks

When the drenching rains come, give thanks.
For so long we wandered through dry desert wastelands.

When the sun beats down mercilessly, give thanks.
From its warmth for so long were we lost in the freezing distance of sin.

When the winter winds whip relentlessly, give thanks.
For then He draws us close to the innermost warmth of His love drawn-near.

When the day, perchance, is brightly beautiful, give thanks.
For in the goodness of life is where we tend to forget our Maker.

Give thanks on that beautiful day lest we forget God, and in the beauty become accursed.
For in our minds, when suffering escapes us, we may think,
"I have everything, and need nothing."

Something I've Learned This Week...

It's simple, basic, elementary, really, but has been difficult for me to learn.  Here it is...

God loves me.
 

I was so afraid that when I stepped down as pastor last week that the earth was going to open up and swallow me down into the depths of its fire-lined belly. Well, as of yet I'm still atop the soil.  I'm sure that can change in a moment; I'm not sure how fast news travels to Heaven these days.  Before I dig any deeper a hole for myself, I must say that I was relieved to find that God's nature hasn't changed.  I don't want to disappoint God.  I love Him so very much, and to find out the truth that He loves me more than I could ever possibly love Him has been so freeing.  Not freeing in the sense that I can do whatever I want and not have the bowels of Hell open up to me, but freeing in the sense that I don't give him much credit.

He is famous for saying, "I'll never leave you or forsake you."  Did you catch that?  He said, "Never."  I see my children doing things that disappoint me all the time.  In fact, just a couple of weeks ago, I had to take my oldest son trekking across our neighborhood to apologize to a girl in his class on the bus.  He and another little boy were caught saying some inappropriate things by the bus driver and I received "the phone call."  In that moment, I wanted to spank and ground that kid until Christ Himself returned to forgive him personally.  I was very disappointed because I know my son is better than his actions.

It occurred to me, however, on the way home from a very embarrassing trip to our neighbors -- for us both, I might add -- that he, Caleb, was my son and my love for him was never in question.  Had he disappointed me?  Yes.  Had he disappointed himself?  Sure.  Was he wrong in what he did?  Absolutely.  But my love for him was unaffected.  In fact it was a bit of a wake up call that I needed to show more love and care for him.  He's growing up.  He's becoming a teenager.  He wants to fit in and be liked, and is struggling through that like we all have.  In this moment and time, he needs love from a father that doesn't ever give up on him.

I'm thankful that I keep learning this myself.  Was God disappointed in me when I stepped down?  Maybe.  Was I disappointed in myself?  Absolutely.  Was I wrong for stepping down?  Perhaps.  But the truth in all of this is that God's love for me IS NOT in question.  And I can live with that.  What I can't live with are anymore embarrassing trips through the neighborhood to have my son apologize to a child and her parents for being, well, an idiot.  But if we all live long enough, and the hole in the earth doesn't present itself, I'm sure I'll make that trip again at some point.  I'll just be making it with a child that I love dearly enough to go with them to knock on the door of our disappointments.

Thank you God for loving me.

Why I Stepped Down as Sr. Pastor

This past Sunday (05/05/13) I stepped down as Pastor of the Alton Church in Birmingham after only eight months. It came as a shock to the congregation. Some close friends of mine knew the personal inner struggle I had with this role, and my resignation came as no surprise. However to the majority this was somewhat shocking news to be stepping down so abruptly.

The purpose of this post is to be clear as to the reasoning for my early departure from this local church.
 
First of all, no one "ran me off." In fact, the people of the church were completely kind, generous and gracious to our family. The church people accepted my wife and children with love and open arms and many great, lasting relationships have been forged in this short time. They accepted me as well, and most all went along with my cracked-pot ideas (my term). Naturally, there was resistance to some of the change, but these were openly discussed, debated and resolved.

Secondly, this was a personal decision.

The decision to step down was made prior to Easter, and I took the following weeks leading up to my resignation to rethink, pray and find peace before making it final. As a side note, I found it quite striking that the Pope stepped down recently as well. Benedict was the first Pope to resign the position in 600 years.  It struck me as odd as well to learn that the overseer of our denomination gave his resignation this past Monday..., the same week I resigned. I don't know if there was something in the air, but resigning seemed to be vogue.

Which leads me to my reason(s) for resigning...

Ministry, preaching the Word, praying for people, making a positive impact in peoples' lives and discipling followers of Christ are the elements that really make me tick as a minister.  The details of being in the ministry and the huge cloud of burden that follows you everywhere you go is what so discourages me.

There's an element of pastoring a congregation, as good as that congregation may be (which is the case at Alton - good people), that is completely stressing and worrisome. I found that this burden didn't cause me to pull more closely to Christ as one might imagine, but I started pulling away. Bible study, prayer, sermon prep all became a worrisome thing to me because having become fixated on what I perceived people wanting instead of focusing on what Christ desires.  I had it backwards.  People pleasing is a bitter poison that drains God's ministers and places said minister in bondage. Unfortunately, I never properly separated the man from the ministry taking anything and everything very personally.  I didn't want pastoring to change me, my temperament and approachable personality. I didn't want to become calloused and shut off from people as I've seen happen with some pastors.

I became bogged down with budgets, music, problems, programs, offenses of others, unfaithful people, people leaving to go elsewhere, murmurs, complaints, formats of service, worship styles, hospital visits, full time work, full time family (my priority after loving God), the distance we traveled from home to church, my own paranoia and plain old-downright tiredness. There seemed to be no relief in sight and I let that thought of hopelessness get the best of me.

I'm not saying this is okay or even right. I'm not justifying anything either.  I'm just saying that this all factors in to why I stepped down. I'm not even saying that I went about it the right way.  I'm sure the Pharisees will line up to privately and publicly jeer, throw stones and question my trust in God. And that's okay..., I questioned it too. Pastoring is a tough work for tough men with thick skin. I am neither tough nor thick skinned.

Finally, I am, however, grateful for the opportunity to have tried. I'm thankful for all the friends who traveled with me through my times of despair that went unnoticed on the surface. And I love God for teaching me a thing or two about who I am and, more importantly, about who He is.

I'm not stepping away from ministry per se, but I am stepping back to give God space to help me deal with my insecurities and trust issues in a toned down role at a local church in Bessemer under a great Pastor.

I love God so much. This hasn't changed. And greater than this is the fact that His love for me hasn't changed either. I'm not junk being discarded. I'm gold being refined in the fire by the Master. 

Thanks to everyone for your continued love. Any other rumor about my stepping down is just that... Rumor. Any speculation as to other reasons I stepped down is just that... Speculation. I can't stop either, and that's okay. If you hear the rumor that I can't hack it as a Pastor, well... that one may be true. :) I still love Christ and His calling and I know that He's still working on me.

A Psalm of Relief... (Sing to the tune of "Oh, God You heard me?!")

"What a difference a day makes. I cried out to You, at my ropes end, and You answered.  From my dark pit of gloom, You jumped in with me, cared for me and pulled me out to safe light.

I thought You were away from me, but You were there with me.  I can't believe how You have answered my prayers. I withdrew, but You pursued.  I got angry and quiet, yet You sang soothingly soft to me.  In my despair, You lifted my chin, looked me in the eyes, smiled at me, saying no words, but speaking volumes of comfort to me.

Now my soul hopes.  Now my spirit smiles.  Now my heart laughs again, and my stinging cheeks soaked from saline saturated sorrows are soothed and refreshed as though cool sunny, spring rains have rinsed them and refreshed them. 

My doubts turned to humbled confidence that You have me.  My fears are relieved as You flip on the light switch showing me that my monsters aren't real.  You sit at my bedside until I drift off to sound sleep.  You rest me.

You come along side me.  You take the load I'm carrying from off my shoulders and onto Yours.  You give me a cool drink that refreshes my parched throat of weariness.  You sit with me.  You enjoy a good movie with me as we sit worry free on my couch.  You laugh with me and take my mind from any troubles I see.  You are there for me.

My silence is turned to joyous, robust singing without care of pitch or tone because my heart is forming the notes and not my well thought out mouth.  I'm not worried at my inability to sing well... I'm just elated that now I can sing.

Ah, you refresh me!  You reclaim my soul from Hell.  You chase away my Enemy and I am safe.

You heard; You came; You loved... You conquered all."

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Day Upon Mars Hill...

I was thinking this morning how quickly Thanksgiving Day has seemed to come this year.  I then began to think of all the things that I'm so thankful for.  I'm so utterly thankful for my family.  I thank God for my family.  This led my thinking to wonder what non-believers are thankful for, and how at Thanksgiving, despite ones religious or non-religious affirmations, they too will be thankful for much of the same things -- family.

Being thankful has caused me to question and wonder what it really actually means to be "thankful". The definition of thanksgiving is simply to give thanks.  To be thankful there must be one to which our gratitude is given, otherwise you don't have thanksgiving.  Pretty simple, basic and logical.  Thankful believers and non-believers alike will give thanks on this holiday.  For believers in Christ our thanks will be given to the Giver of all life.  But to non-believers, where will their thanks go?  To whom will their thanksgiving be given?

Unknowingly, they'll express thankfulness, caught up in the season of gratitude and being festively drunk on family and food, there will rise up in the non-believer a moment where their inhibitions will relent shortly and with thankful hearts their gratitude will rise up as well to the "unknown God".  He, after all, is the Giver of the objects they will be thankful for, whether spouse, parents or children, all of which have pressed upon their visages the image of the Creator.  They will be giving thanks to God because He is the originator, giver and bringer of all life.  Whether they choose to acknowledge it or not, despite the foolish lies they've, perhaps, bought into, they will be unknowingly thanking Him.

At Mars Hill, as told in the book of Acts, Paul confronts the philosophers, thinkers  and teachers of his day at that gathering place in Greece.  There they had erected a statue to honor the "unknown god" amongst all the "known" gods of their day.  Paul said that this "unknown god" they paid homage to was in actuality the revealed God of the Hebrews who had sent Christ as the sacrifice for sins so that we all might be forgiven and have new life.  This "new" teaching Paul shared with them intrigued them and they sought more teaching by him.  He stayed on there teaching and showing people the Way -- Jesus.

On Thanksgiving Day, all across our nation, thanks will be poured out from merry hearts to the "unknown God" upon the Mars Hill of our hearts.  The sad fact, however, is that without the knowing of this God -- Jesus the Messiah -- they will null any credit that should be tallied to their accounts on behalf of their thankfulness.  Professing to be wise, we become fools because we ignore the evident Giver to which we are so thankful. 

Pray that our unbelieving friends, family and countrymen will see the Christ that loves them so much, who has blessed them so abundantly with their lives and family in whom they love dearly and are thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day.

Thoughts From My Journal on What Calvin Miller May Be Doing at This Moment...

This morning from my journal: I was drawn to thinking of Dr. Calvin Miller, author, pastor and professor, who died this year, August 9th, 2012, at the age of 75.  His written works include The Singer Trilogy, The Celtic Path of Prayer, Life is Mostly Edges, Sermon Maker, Into the Depths and his most recent (that touched and helped me beyond any other) Letters to a Young Pastor.  This isn't a complete list of his works, but a good start.  He also has written several children's book and many poems.  Much thanks to Pastor Roger Daniel of Caffee Junction Church of God for introducing me to this great man and writer.  Though I never met him in person, he retired from Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, Alabama where I live, and he lived in Trussville just a few miles from where I now pastor.  It seems that we were destined to meet, though it never happened, but one day I'm confident, in Christ, we will.  On the day of his death, when I saw the Tweets concerning his passing... I couldn't help but cry.

Here's the entry from my journal dated Tuesday, November 20th, 2012...

For some reason I'm thinking about Calvin Miller this morning. A man I don't know except through his writings.

 

What a writer and thinker he was here upon this earthly realm.  What a writer and thinker he must now be on that eternal shore where he is no longer inhibited by the limits of mere human expression.  His mind has now been unlocked as the blinding scales of our humanity have been peeled away by Christ's own fingers. 

 

Some might think it absurd to imagine that in Heaven there is writing.  I imagine that the best writing is done there.  Here we're only given a glimpse of the writing potential that exists when no prohibition is made to the artistic expression of such a beautiful form of communication as when the mind has finally been liberated to righteousness, holiness and unhindered perception, now having an eternal vantage point.

Oh the words Calvin now has access to that express such fullness of concepts no human tongue has knowingly uttered; except, perhaps, in some form of charismatic spattering that most of the Christian world condemns as emotional ecstasy.  Those unknown languages, are at his full disposal now, and the concepts he once struggled to string together here (oh that I "struggled" as he) now flow in holy ecstasy expressing the beauty and grandeur he knows now so vibrantly.  Down here, he only could guess at the grandeur he penned in books published on dirty, used presses.  There the grandeur is now bathing him in golden warmth where his soul is satisfied, and his writings printed in angelic hues of electric light on parchment peeled from Divine Presence.

I imagine him with some holy pen (holy because everything in Heavenly is illuminated by light that emanates from God's own Son so that it can be seen and grasped by spiritual hands) feverishly writing of all the new things his eyes have been awakened to.  Perhaps one complete sentence there, though no time at all passes, has taken him here 10,000 years to scribe.

He probably shares in a writers guild with those passed away writers such as Paul, with his letters; Isaiah and Jeremiah, with their oracles; David and his son Solomon, with their poetry and praise; Moses and Esther, with their stories of Presence; Spurgeon, with sermon; Charles Wesley, with song; Tolkien and Lewis, with sheer genius.  I hope, also, that Oscar Wilde is with them having now learned the craft of grace.  He pens now not from the perception of hedonism and sensual exploitation, but from the perception of perfect Love he found on his death bed of sickness from a life wrecked with human taking and grief now redeemed by glowing, piercing beams of grace.  I think they're all, also, waiting in anticipation for their sons Lucado, Zacharias, Chan and Platt to arrive. 

I hope they'll let me sit in on such an eternally, exquisite guild one day.  Not because I'm ever to become an "accomplished" writer such as they, but because I've cried out to the Spirit in my journals of desperate weakness.  In those cries, I hope, something of those inexpressible ecstasies spilled unknowingly onto my pages in groanings that were not written in any audibly recognizable tones of intellectual purpose.

I'm not quite sure what turned my think this morning to Miller, but, for whatever reason, the thought of his writing finally being loosed in Heaven gives hope that Spirit filled writing will be loosed on Earth as well.  The writings that Calvin now engages must be wonderfully expressive and fully complete in a way his human hand never achieved.  I think of him spilling his liberated heart out in divine poetry that no human here can read, but one day, by the heavenly sea, we'll recline and read and marvel still at the works of the Spirit through Calvin Miller.

"There's A Monster Under My Bed... Jerry Sandusky"

As a father, I go to great lengths to dispel the fear of monsters from the mind of my five year old daughter Madilyn.  Of our four children, she, being the youngest, is the last in need of her daddy to defeat the monsters that lurk in the shadows of her bedroom.

It's a great trophy of victory that I have won to have convinced my other three children that monsters don't exist, and it's all because their daddy, who can not be defeated -- after all I am stronger than all other daddies -- has single-handily chased them forever away from our abode. The older three go to sleep soundly each night knowing that monsters don't play Chutes and Ladders in their room once their eyelids have closed tightly.  My job as a father... complete (well, nearly).

Sadly, we've recently learned, again and again albeit, that monsters do exist.  And after having convinced my children that monsters don't exist, I'll have to teach them again how to protect themselves from these supposedly non-existent entities that, actually, in fact do exist.

Jerry Sandusky, former assistant coach for Penn St, proved this recently to us.  He reassured us again that monsters exist.

Many young, innocent boys learned this tragic tale first hand at Jerry Sandusky's home and on the campus of Penn State.  They, however, had no one present to protect them and ward off their monster.  Their monster took the most tragic form: caregiver and father figure.  This disguise dehumanized these children to the point that their ability to ever live sane, normal lives has been greatly diminished.  How will they ever fully trust again?

I'm sure they will question their self worth until the day they die, if not for the restoring help of our Loving Father -- to which the title itself will be the greatest of hurdles.  Their only knowledge of a "loving father" proved to be a grotesque, manipulating monster hiding in the most twisted, unassuming disguise... a father figure.

Society though did, exactly what I've done throughout this blog.  I labeled Jerry Sandusky.  We needed too.  If he's a monster, atypical of humanity, then we can rest assured knowing that what Jerry Sandusky has done is the exception to our race and not the norm.  We need him to carry a label other than human so that we can sleep soundly at night and ward off fictitious monsters that pose no real threat.  We don't, however, want to deal with the monster that is ourselves:

"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9

 The acts he committed are so heinous, and 99.9% of the people reading this article have never ever considered doing something so heinous, at least I hope this to be true.  What he did repulses us. But naturally speaking this is humanity's true nature peeking its monstrous head up through the thin crust of supposed civility brandishing our truest hues of gray scaled colors.  Sandusky won't be cured by 500 years in prison.  The punishment here, in my opinion, doesn't fit the crime because of the devastation to these, now, young men can never be calculated.  It just proves to show us that humanity is desperately wicked.  It further proves that mankind needs saving.  Humanity needs resurrection from the sin and death we bath in daily.  We're entirely saturated in it.  Even the best among us has a human heart, and that if its inner most secrets were known publicly we'd be very embarrassed by its contents.

"All of us have become like one who is unclean,
    and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
    and like the wind our sins sweep us away."  Isaiah 64:6

Let us learn from this despite having too many teachers already, that the only hope for humanity DOES NOT exist within us.  Our only hope of salvation comes from above.  The only hope we have from our desperately wicked ways is the fact that there's a Loving Father who knows no sin, and doesn't have a human heart.  He desperately wants to save us from the monsters lurking in the shadows of our own rooms... that is, our hearts.  In Christ is true salvation, perfect love where we need not be afraid any longer of who we are and the vast potential for wicked that lies silent at times but explodes to the surface in lucid moments of exposure.  When the pleasantries have all been exhausted and the thin veil of niceness has been worn thin, humanity shows itself truly and no amount of self help or self actualization can ever save us.  Our salvation is not further conformation to this world, but true and ultimate transformation where we become new creatures -- something that didn't exist before -- in Christ (I Corinthians 5:17).

God help humanity.  Help us because we're broken...

To understand our sinfulness is to see our need for salvation.  Jesus sees it.  He did something about it.  He didn't just label us "monsters" then went on His divinely merry way.  No.  He redeemed us from the curse of sin and death by becoming just like us... human.  Yet He conquered the monster of sin, because He knew we could not.

This is what we need to learn from this tragic scandal... that we are in need of saving.  We ignore this too often.  And no matter how many times humanity rears its ugly head, we keep ignoring it.  We dissolve the problem down and isolate the problem to the label "criminally insane" and ignore the reality that evil does in fact exist and it is immediate in our common humanity.  This is the great deception, that evil doesn't exist and is only an ideology of the theologically minded.  This attitude continues in the statement, "Who can believe those religious, Jesus believing nut jobs anyway?"  The world can agree with it or not, but we nut jobs corner the market on understanding evil.  In order for us to come into the hallowed ranks of "nut-job-ed-ness", we have to first admit our wickedness.  Christ promises us that if we confess our transgressions -- which is church speak for admit we are evil -- that He'll just as quickly as we can ask forgive us and place His own heart within us.

Before you quickly dismiss the Jerry Sandusky scandal as just another sick-o exposed and behind bars, let the reality sink in a bit that we share his human DNA.  We may not share his same evil proclivity, and would never even think to, but we share the same evil that keeps us separated from our Loving Father.  So, tonight, as we tuck ourselves into bed, and we turn out the lights to go to sleep, let us go to bed knowing that we have a perfect, loving, heavenly Father who courageously wants to ward off and rid our hearts from the monster that lurks within our own humanity.  He has chased them all from under our beds and we can rest soundly in Him, if we will believe.

Digging in the Garbage Bin... At Panama City Beach

We were gassing up the rental vans and about to head home from our youth trip to beautiful Panama City Beach, Florida.  We had been there four days and by now I think we were all at our whits end.  Nonstop sand, surf, sun, late nights and early mornings, going all day long relentlessly pursuing beach fun, while intoxicating as it was, it has a way of becoming so wearing on our bodies that our dreams turn from hammocks on the beach to home.

I walk into the station to prepay for gas and hand the clerk a bajillion dollar bill in hopes to convince him to turn on the pumps and I see a dude rummaging through the huge garbage bin out behind the station. As I walk out, and begin filling up, I look to see if he's looking for cans or for food.  He leans out of the garbage bin with a Styrofoam take out plate, opens it up, sees no food and tosses it back into the bin.  One of our teens peeks her head out of the van and says to me with a tone of desperation in her eyes, "He's looking for food, Jeremy." I replied, "I know."

As I open the back of the van to our snack stash, another teen rescues a Wal Mart sack that seemed to be helplessly swirling in the cyclone of teen garbage from within our own rolling 15 passenger garbage bin.  We begin filling the bag with all kinds of crackers, chips, snacks, water bottles and can drinks. I head over to the man, a tall slender gentleman in his fifties. His long, unkept, dark hair was already drenched in sweat at about 9:45am from pursuant digging.  The warm, savory sea air switched quickly to the stale stench of hot, wet garbage.  I asked him if he can use the snacks and he says in a northern accent that reminded me of Michigan, "Brother, I tell you they won't go to waste."  He smiled at me a smile of relief.  He then offered to tell me in a somewhat sincere tone that he just can't find any work.

I wanted to say something to him... probably something religious, but I felt it disingenuous to preach at him coming from a position of priviledge.  Here I was in nice clothes, driving expensive air conditioned rental vans with a crew of well dressed teenagers shackled to iPhones, iPods and iPads.  The best thing I thought to say was just simply and honestly ask him, "You know God loves you don't you?"  His reply, "He must. He keeps sending me people like you."

I turn to walk away and he just points his finger straight to heaven as if to say, "You never fail me."

We drove off with the sea to our backs as salty tears begin to sting my sun burnt cheeks.  The thought racing through my head was, "God, you never meant for you children to live like that."  He whispered back to me, "Yeah, but I did mean for them to love like that."  Then His faithful words rang in my heart, "A bag of snacks offered in my name won't be forgotten in my kingdom."

I don't tell this story to pat myself or our youth on the backs.  We really didn't do much. I do, however, want to encourage us -- we who live in the lap of luxury and plenty -- to love like Christ. 

The guy refused to shake my hand because of the garbage on his hands.  I wish now I would have grabbed him anyway and hugged Him.  This is the image I see when I read in the scriptures how Jesus hugged the lepers He met in Panama City Beach.

Francis Chan :: Fighting Hypocrisy In the Church

Fighting Hypocrisy In the Church
This is an audio message by Francis Chan.  Take a listen and check out more sermons on Sermon Index.

I Prayed Some Heresy Today...

Today our West Blocton HS teens bury their friend, school mate and family member...

Pamela and I lay in bed last night after our Emerge Twenty-Something Bible study looking at our phones (Facebook, of course) in the dark, just reading and not saying a word to each other.  Neither of us told the other what we were doing, but we were both doing the same thing.  We were reading our teens' Facebook pages.  Not that Pamela and I have teens ourselves, per se, but we have a whole gaggle of them from our youth group REVOLVE!Student Ministry. We were reading their comments about their friend.

I finally broke the silence, "It's not fair, is it?"
"No, it's not," she sort of whispered back into the darkness of our room.

Both of us were hurting for our teens so we posted a couple of statements onto their walls to let them know we were praying for them and thinking of them.  It seemed small.  The prayers seemed small. 

I half feared that the tragic events would turn these guys -- not necessarily our students but the school friends, though I worry for our students as well -- away from God instead of to Him. (I half worry that confessing my thoughts of this here in this blog will spark the idea itself as if it hadn't been conceived in their minds already.)  If I, in my theological prowess, struggle with the fairness of it all, how would they not be struggling with it already too?

So I got up this morning and prayed some heresy...

Rob Bell's book, "Love Wins" has taken a lot of rightful hits and largely negative critique because of it's promotion of universalism -- the idea that all roads lead to God regardless.  Its heresy is seen as so dangerously influential that my far away hero, Francis Chan, wrote a response to it called, "Erasing Hell". 

The premise of Bell's book is to say that no matter how people lived their lives, or how they believed spiritually, that God's love is so strong, and so irresistible, that, even if He is rejected in this life, He will ultimately be accepted in the life to come.  The implications -- dangerous as they are mind you -- are that no one ultimately misses Heaven. (Notice here how I can't even bring myself to type the phrase "goes to Hell". "Misses Heaven" is such more more palatable and acceptable to our sensibilities.) 

So this morning, I prayed that this young guy who lost his life this weekend gets a pass.  Here's my prayer in a nutshell:

God I know the rules.  There's only one way to You.  I don't know what was in his heart, but I'm asking You to bend Your rules for Him if he didn't know You.  Please bend the rules... or let there be rules that we don't know about on earth; and that because of those unknown rules he gets to know you regardless.  Let Your love ultimately win out.

 I don't know this guy's heart, so this isn't a judgment on his eternal state of being.  The fact that I don't know, however, is what unnerves me.  I pray that he knew Christ, and now knows Him in peace and comfort and in eternal rest.  The thing, too, that bothers me is that he came to our youth service a couple of times.  My blood runs cold when I wonder what we did on the nights he visited.  Did I do my normal, stupid youth pastor junk that makes kids like me and coming to church?  Did we goof off and not get through our service because of other stuff?  Was the Word that night a side note to all that was going on? Or was there anything of substance that the Holy Spirit could use moments before impact in the back seat of a teen driven car? 

God help me?!

It's sobering to think that at any moment we're meeting people for the last time.  So I prayed a bit of heresy, and I don't think that God minds, because He knows how we're struggling to make sense of what seems so unfair.  I prayed a bit of heresy because I'm afraid ...my hands are actually trembling and my eyes are starting to sting at the corners because of tears that want to come at the next statement... I'm afraid that I didn't do my job very well the night he visited our group.  I don't know that for sure, but it scares me nonetheless.

God, you grant heretical requests, right?  For once, please, I hope you do... if this heretical prayer of mine is actually needed.  In the future, I can't hang my hopes on heretical praying.

Scared of Confession...

What are we scared of when we hear the word confession?  What do we have to hide?  A lot.  Why do we have to hide it?  Because we're scared of what it means to be vulnerable, rejected, alienated, hated, flawed.  Why, then, if God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, would He ask us to do something that scares us to death -- to confess our sins to each other?

We aren't afraid to confess to Him, normally.  Most of our ingrained theology tells us already that He knows everything about us and that nothing is, or can be, hidden from Him.  So telling Him what He already knows takes some of the pressure off of us.  We know from Him, we are accepted.  He knows how to loves us with all our flaws and sins that the religious elite around us would scoff and count us out for. (Perhaps they are hiding greater sins?)

I wonder how many people I've counted out because of their sins?  I wonder how many sins that I've committed and and not counted that make theirs' pale in comparison?

What are we scared of?  Our reputations being ruined?  Rejection? Or how about growth?  Spiritual maturity?  When is the last time we confessed our sins to a friend?  When was the last time a friend confessed their sins to us?  How did we handle that?  With love?  A listening ear?  Gossip?

A wise man once said, and very recently I might add, "That if we can't confess our sins to the community, then the community isn't much like Christ." 

I'm convinced that God isn't much pleased with our hiding.  Think of Eden... they played a child's game with the Creator too, of hide-and-go-seek.  He's good at that game.  He has a way of finding us, exposing our inner wounds that will kill us, and then healing us.  We've been hiding since Eden first taught us that particular game.  He's been seeking us ever since as well.  Much of this hide-and-seek can be avoided, if we were more like Christ, less Pharisaical, and a lot more humble, transparent and trustworthy. 

Perfect love casts out our fear of His punishment.  Our love should be more like His then.  Others should be relieved of their fears of confessing because our love is like His.

Proverbs 30:7-9

"O God, I beg two favors from you;
      let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
      Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
      Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
      And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name." (New Living Translation)

I can't help but think how this text defines our country.  Out of meager means, starving to death during winter, unable to sustain ourselves, we began a journey to become a nation free of religious persecution.  And God did bless.  Then growing rich, we have forgotten God.  Oh we remember Him when we become desperate at times.  When we need some miracle to sustain our comfort, or to keep us further rooted as transient citizens here below where we aren't supposed to feel at home... then we remember Him.

I can't help think of myself.  Of how when things are going so well we are content to blow a kiss toward Heaven  Blown kisses are but a long distance disconnect from an actual embrace of the Holy and Divine -- we're too busy to actually run toward Him and kiss Him with our own lips as we're fine to do it from more than an arms length.  Who needs the disruption of crossing distance to be near Him?  We have all we need and then some.

Grant me these two things as well, God.  Give me just enough to satisfy my needs so that there's a constant need to be near You so that I don't forget You and say, "Who is the Lord?" And let me not lie and say "All is well with my soul, for I know Him!" when I do not.

Rich Mullins Quote...

"Jesus said whatever you do to the least of these my brothers you’ve done it to me. And this is what I’ve come to think. That if I want to identify fully with Jesus Christ, who I claim to be my Savior and Lord, the best way that I can do that is to identify with the poor. This I know will go against the teachings of all the popular evangelical preachers. But they’re just wrong. They’re not bad, they’re just wrong. Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in a beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken..."     - Rich Mullins (October 21, 1955 – September 19, 1997)

The above quote was given just prior to Rich's death at a concert.  Leading up to his death, he lived on a Navajo Indian reservation in Tse Bonito, New Mexico in a hogan (traditional Native American hut built into the earth) and taught Navajo children music and Christ.  He gave all of the proceeds from his music sales to his church and charities and he was paid the national average salary at that time which was around $40k per year.  He gave millions of dollars away in his lifetime to the poor and needy.

To read a synopsis of his incredible life and testimony check out this article.

God let us be men and women who live and love like You.  Let us not be enamored with the world's system of living.  Let us live in this world as citizens of Heaven, knowing that with You is where our true treasures are being kept.  

Change me, oh God, by Your Spirit and convict me of all my sins so that I may repent and live my life to love You, Your people and to bring You glory. 

(un)Explainable Life...

"I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit."   -- Francis Chan (from Forgotten God)

 Man, think of that statement for a moment... How much of my life (or your life) can be completely explained completely apart from the Holy Spirit?  Too much..., maybe nearly everything.  I don't want this to be so...

I'm not talking about breathing or the things outside of our cognizant will and pseudo-control.  The Holy Spirit provides every person the privilege of our breathing whether they believe in Him or not -- that is irrelevant. What I'm talking about are our accomplishments, hopes, dreams, aspirations, college plans, business plans, marriage plans, sermon plans, church growth plans, Friday night plans, meal plans, vacation plans, miscellaneous funds plans, offering plans, purchase plans, what-I'm-going-to-drive plans, where-I'm-going-to-work plans, what-I'll-name-my-kids plans, where-we're-going-to-church plans, where-we're-going-to-serve plans... get the picture?  All of these things are so common place to us that we give little to no thought at all what God's plans are.  Most everything we think and do are, for the most part, apart from the Holy Spirit.

What if we lived our lives in such a way that the only way people could explain the things that happened to us or through us is by the Holy Spirit?

How do we change this?  Meditate on that.  No, seriously... let's meditate on that.  Let's seek God and take inventory of everything we have, do, say or plan and give all of it up to Christ.  This is what I'm doing in my life.  It can be a slow process, but the key is giving up my "rights" to everything.  Nothing is mine or my wife's.  Not our children, cars, home, clothes, money, plans.  If the Lord is willing, we'll do this or that... if the Lord wills we will go to Illinois next week.  If the Lord wills, I will leave work at 4:30pm. 

Ordering our life around His will begins the process, through faith in Christ to guide us, in an unEXPLAINABLE LIFE.  Right now everything is pretty explainable...

Matthew 28:19 (NLT)

"Therefore, go and MAKE DISCIPLES of all the nations, BAPTIZING them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." Matthew 28:19 (NLT)
 
Just some questions to consider about this scripture...

First of all, ask ourselves, "Who am I discipling to be a follower of Christ?"  Do we come up with any names?  If not, then how do we change that?

Secondly, who is this scripture intended to instruct?  (Us! The body of Christ.  All Believers. Or at least this is the way that I've always heard it preached from every pulpit making the plea for all to go and preach the good news of Jesus.)

Lastly, has the fact that the practice of baptism being relocated to the "ministry" given us "non-ministers" the sense that it's no longer our responsibility to MAKE and BAPTIZE followers of Christ?

I'm sure someone can offer a worthy theological treatise (I know that's above my skill level) on why the "ministry" alone is allowed to baptize people; and hearing it I might concede with their argument.  But just a simple reading of this text, acting as if I had never read it before , leads me to believe that this is also a part of my responsibility as a follower of Christ.

Maybe the intention of Christ was to raise up licensed ministers to fulfill these duties.  I'm not bemoaning licensing, and I surely can see the chaos that might ensue if every believer was out performing rogue baptisms with no sense of organization or hierarchical structure. The question I ponder though is whether or not the distinction between licensed ministers and the rest of us has sort of mentally relieved us from the duty of making disciples? Have we transferred this responsibility from ourselves to the professionals?  This is just something to consider...

And maybe rogue baptisms would be a good problem for the church to have...  it seems that if this were the case, it would mean that we were out there fulfilling the commission of the referenced text. I think God might forgive us for that...

About Casey Anthony and Our Attitudes...

There's a lot of talk in the social media circles currently about the Casey Anthony "not guilty" verdict from this past Tuesday.  Most of the talk centers on shock and disgust.  The talk that concerns me most is the talk coming from the Christian community.  We simply don't know how to deal with this subject and waiver between two extremes.  One of hatred and one of veneration of a celebrity.  I care what our Christian community has to say on the topic of much debate because whether we want it to or not, it directly reflects who the world sees Christ to be.  And right now we're not making Him look that great.

A lot of the Facebook comments I see deal with the outrage that Casey Anthony "got off" for murdering her daughter.  Most comments run the gambit of "she may have gotten off now, but God's going to get her for sure!" Or, "She'll get what's coming to her in Hell!"  We're even distributing pictures of her and O.J. Simpson together as our own punch lines. I even saw a couple of posts from "Christians" were profanity was used and implied to refer to this "witch" that shouldn't be allowed to live another second.  On the other side I've  read articles from Christian publications that seem so weak and pacifistic that it doesn't seem the editors would lift a limp wrist to defend their own families if an intruder broke into their homes and tried to harm them.

Everyone, for the most part, has assumed her guilt, largely because of her lies to authorities, her party-girl life style, the various circumstantial evidence, and for not reporting her daughter missing for 31 days among other things.  All of these things point to a guilty, or at best, unfit, shady mother in the person of Casey Anthony.  However, despite her lies and party-girl lifestyle the bottom line is that we don't really know who killed this poor little girl.  This being the case, as a Christian community, we should be very careful in pronouncing God's judgment on a person for a sin we don't know who clearly committed it.  This attitude shows clear hatred for someone we don't know is guilty for sure and has now been proven, or tried and found "not guilty" by a jury of her peers in our court system.  Has justice been served?  Only God and the killer and possible family members know for sure.  We the public do NOT.

I typically cry "foul" when Christians quote Matthew 7:1-6 when a Christian wants to deal with or call someones actions sinful.  It nearly never fails that someone will quote a part of this text and say, "judge not so that you won't be judged!"  I usually point out that they're taking that scripture out of it's intended context.  The scripture says that we shouldn't judge someone hypocritically and that we should remove the log from our eye so we can see clearly enough to help our brother with the spec in theirs.  We are to help  keep people accountable for their sins as well as our own.  In light of this verdict, and in regards to the attitudes of a lot of believers on Facebook and other social media, I would say that this scripture would bear some weight in the issue of Casey Anthony.  If we have hate for her and what we think she did - by the way, wanting God's judgment to fall on anyone would certainly constitute a level of hatred given the fierce and eternal nature of His wrath - makes us just as guilty of what we presume she did.  If we hate anyone in our heart, then we have committed the same sin of murder in God's eyes (1 John 4:20).

The Christian communities' position should come from one of love and understanding that God does bring ultimate justice, even if we perceive that it has been missed here on earth.  We should pray for this family because we've seen significant issues and evidence that suggests their lives are not surrendered to Christ and are in need of His forgiveness in a number of areas, much like our own.

Is the murderer off the hook then?  Of course not.  Should we lament the child abuse that took place?  Of course we are.  Should we remove the beam that in sin our eye so that we can rightly remove the speck in others' eyes?  Yes, of course... if there's a beam there, then remove away!  Should we exhibit grace and mercy?  Of course.  Should we tolerate sin and crime and immorality in our lives and nation?  Aboslutely not!  This is why we need to be led by His Spirit in all of our dealings.  We shouldn't give sin a passing wink, nor should our motives be to want any to perish.  God doesn't want any to perish either (2 Peter 3:9)!

This attitude show how ineptly we understand eternal punishment in Hell.  We are so quick to resign people there, but we should note that Christ wsan't.  The most cruel, deserving-of-Hell-people that I can think of are those who mishandled and crucified Christ.  They took the greatest gift ever given to humankind and they trashed Him like garbage.  Yet His response was, "Father please forve them, they don't know what they are doing."  Even then under excruciating pain He cared for them and didn't want to see God's wrath poured out on any of them, deserving as they were.  This doesn't mean that it wasn't, it means that he didn't want it to be if at all possible.  That's why He was on the cross taking the sins of us all on Himself and being punished for them for us.
 
We aren't much like Christ when we become wrath-mongers.  Do not mistake that statement for a liberal, bleeding heart, let's-not-punish-anyone-for their-crimes kind of an attitude. Take it for what it is.  An understanding that we can't possibly know how terrifying and devastating the wrath of God is and that we shouldn't wish it on any person.  Christ has this understanding, and wanted none of us sinners to be apart of it.  Let us stive for a deeper love for the dregs of humanity than our current flippant "cast them all into Hell" attitude that some of us carry.  Let us hunger for justice for this little girl.  Let us pray for justice to come to the murderer as well as their repentance and salvation.  But let us not pray with so much venom in our breath.  Let our hearts long for what is right, even when what is right becomes difficult to live out.  It's not wrong to want justice.  It is wrong for us to hate.

One last point I wish to make... in all of our outcry and rage, let us remember to cry out daily to God on behalf of all abused children who are being taken advantage of presently in our world, and not just when they become celebrities on television.  Let's cry out to God on their behalf daily.  Do we even realize that right now as we read this there is a little girl or boy who is being violently abused by the ones who are supposed to love them the most?  Do we realize somewhere in Thai Land there are little boys and girls who are being systemically raped by wicked, evil men for money and to fulfill a sinful lust, some as young as 18 months of age?  In Eastern Europe, right now, there are young women who are being sexually exploited and trafficked by ruthless thugs who care nothing for these poor girls who are being crushed and lost to prostitution and drugs forever.  Don't our hearts break for these that receive no media attention as well? Or is it just our care to get involved emotionally when our day time television soaps are interrupted and we're forced to finally look and see the evil that's going on in our society every day?

Assaulting God

The assault on God's image is a sin as old as mankind's original sin.  In the Garden, two people decided to strike out on their own and do their own thing.  It was for them a sorrowful celebration of self.  By their act they "became like God" and by their actions they became something entirely less than what they had hoped.

Their violation was not just in the eating of some random fruit, but their choosing to show God that they can fulfill themselves with lesser things.  Remember, their Garden was full of choice fruits with which they could eat their fill without any fear of punishment or disobedience.  These intended food sources were, no doubt, of the highest order of creation so as to sustain the highest object of creation... humankind. With their solidarity of action, they shook their fists at God rejecting choice fruits for thistles and thorns... lesser fruits.  Think of this for a moment... they chose to sustain themselves on the lesser.  Why was it lesser?  Because it wasn't intended for them.  It was set in the midst of the Garden as a point of choice.  God has never desired robots acting mechanically in relationship, but envisioned a creature that He love and who would return His love.  After all, this is the essence of His very nature... Love.  This is what He is.

In their act of defiance, they assaulted His nature.  Rebellion has never been a substitute for love.  Love is faithful and kind; it is patient and lasting. True love never fails.  Their rebellion was a cataclysmic slight against such a loving God; it was an assault on His Image. It was a strike at His very heart and nature.  It was anti-love.

This same assault is happening in America and it seems at an ever increasing rate.  Homosexuality is an assault on His Image.  God's intentions for humankind were of the purest motivations.  He designed for us each our complimenting counterpart in the opposite sex.  This complimenting counterpart was designed to bring harmony, completion and expression of His nature.  Our joining ourselves to the opposite sex in a marital relationship has so many practical and Divine functions that push mankind forward.  Procreation, celebration, completing love, partnership, companionship and only in marriage in each of its functions can we begin to understand the nature and love and relationship we are to have with God our Creator. 

For instance, in the function of marriage, once we become parents, we can understand for maybe the first time, the undying love and devotion a father or mother has for a child.  As a father, I first began to understand how it was possible for God to love me.  I looked at my first child as an infant, who had no talents, skills, could pay no rent, provide no food, who took up all of our time, cried a lot, stunk up our house with dirty diapers, yet in an instance without hesitation I would have jumped in front of a car for him, or gave him my own heart.  This is how we first see how God truly loves us so completely.  He loves us because we are His.

One more example, in a healthy marriage a husband and wife can experience the intimacy and closeness that God intends for us to have with Him.  We know from the Garden account in Genesis that man and woman were created naked and were not ashamed.  They walked and worked and talked in the Garden with God and each other naked before Him for there was no need to be ashamed.  This wasn't because they were buff and hot and in good physical condition, but because there was perfect trust and love between them and this trust and love never produced fear.  Have you ever thought how weird it is that as a married couple you can both be in the bathroom together getting ready to go somewhere and be brushing your teeth together or fixing your hair without a stitch of clothing on and it be completely comfortable, normal, not weird and without any shame?  Marriage provides the same context of relationship with which we were supposed to experience in the Garden originally with God.  With His model of love, there should be no fear and we can experience a little bit of what He must have intended in the Garden with our spouse.

Sure, some will argue that in their alternative life style they can experience these same things.  The difference however is that God is not involved. There's the selfish rebellion again that separated us from Him.  In order to be in communion with God the Bible clearly gives us the example that if we don't obey His commands, which is another way of saying -- participating in this life as HE designed it -- then we don't have the light in us (See I John 3).  Romans 1 is clear in saying that man and woman have left the natural affections and did degrading, unbelievable, unthinkable things with their same sex. They degraded the relationship God intended and used their bodies in ways God never intended. Again humanity was assaulting God's Image and nature.  In that same chapter of Romans, directly in the same context, Paul says that God abandoned them and turned them over to their depravity.  He had nothing to do with them and allowed them to live in their degraded, or should I say "lesser", passions.

This lifestyle is an affront and an assault directly on His Image.  Satan has taken God's first institutional relationship and has high-jacked it by convincing a percentage of humanity that this lesser fruit is just as desirable and acceptable as His higher-order fruit.  The Enemy has deceived our culture and now our nation is choosing to "institutionalize and normalize" homosexuality. Colossians 3 says that because of these sins, God's anger is coming to all who practice sin (read Colossians 3:1-11 for a listing of sins as well as Romans 1). We will see in our lifetime the acceptance by our governing bodies, in full force, the approval of these relationships all over our nation.  But guys -- church -- it doesn't make it okay or acceptable. 

The scriptures do not change and God will not be mocked by the Enemy for long.  God will be long suffering and He will show mercy and grace to those who seek it, but His anger will come and it will not be a time of decadent celebration. Dr. John Piper in the link I've provided above calls it the "new calamity".  New in the sense of our institutionalizing and normalizing this type of behavior.  Mankind wasn't intended to sustain itself on lesser fruits.  God has a greater, purer and more complete plan for His children.  He will forgive our sins if we ask, and He requires us to turn from these sins and He does provide a way of escape from temptation for those who have a propensity for such temptations.  Through God's powerful Holy Spirit such sins (not just homosexuality, but all sin) can be overcome and we can live in peace with God as He intended originally.

As the church, our response is love and acceptance -- not approval -- but acceptance of such sinners.  If we push them away before we ever get to teach and love them in Christ, then they can never be healed from these wounds of sin.  We are to share with them the truth because of our love for them and our desire not to see any lost for eternity in Hell.  We must pray for them, pray for our nation, and our leaders and show the unconditional love for homosexuals that Christ has for us.  This does not mean we should let homosexuals have leadership roles in our churches because of the biblical mandate of holiness that is required to be leaders in the church.  We must not be afraid to see sin as God sees sin and we must not be afraid to engage people and governments caught up in these deceptions, but our motives must be for God's glory and not because of our political leanings.

God help us, Your people.  Your will is that no one should perish in Hell; please help that to be the will of us, Your people as well.  Let our hearts be broken for the lost-ness of the culture around us.  Let us be in dire anguish that humankind, apart from You, are tumbling minute by minute into Hell -- that they were never intended for.  Please motivate Your people to move beyond the need to have the coolest, hippest churches that have no heart for Your Word despite how difficult Your word may be in the shade of our politically correct sensibilities. We need You God!  We need You God...

Social Justice Christianity?

The seemingly noble endeavor of ending childhood poverty and preventable death wherever they may be found in our world, without providing the Gospel in a lasting and permanent way, is to inflict upon that child an eternity of suffering and loss forever under the banner of do-gooding.  To the child with his belly full and heart empty, an unspeakable injustice has been served him.  

Think of this for a moment.  I just received an email that inspired the above thought (and, yes, you can quote me on it!).  Every time we buy a Bible through a particular, and might I add reputable, company a certain portion of the proceeds goes to the efforts of ending childhood poverty, hunger and preventable deaths.  It occurred to me that through Social Justice Christianity -- and I question why Christianity has to even be categorized as such -- we can often feel good about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, or healing sick children through medicine only addresses a temporary need.  Are these things not needed?  Are these not noble and good causes?

"If a person owns the kinds of things we need to make it in the world but refuses to share with those in need, is it even possible that God's love lives in him?" 1 John 3:17 (The Voice)

The Bible says they are worthy. But full bellies and fevers reduced only addresses a worldly and temporary problem. Humanities problem goes much deeper. It's found in the soul. Jesus says in Matthew 16:26, "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" (NLT)  

There are things more terrible than hunger and poverty.  An eternity without Christ Jesus, is an unthinkable divorce from the realm of this temporary life.  So Do-Good?  Yes!  But let's not miss the great for doing the good we should be doing.  The greatest gift is the gift of eternal life in Christ.  Let's not forget that in our well doing.

Where Are the Lovers?

Are there any who love God anymore? Who passionately want Him more than any other? Do any chase after even a moment in His presence? He would give us many. We are much more fond of lesser things.

We can hold lesser things in our grity, dirt-soiled palms, but who can behold the Almighty? He would let us, but do any seek Him?

No we seek every fading thing we can fathom because they offer temporary touching. But what's in a momentary touch but future longing and vague memory of things once held ... or were they? For we can hardly remember them. They don't satisfy for when we put those things back into their paces to fade eternally our memory of them fades as well and we're left longing again. Has He not ever satisfied fully?

None seek Him because He's not a temporary quick fix which is all we seem to stomach. We're whores for now and prudes for later. The eternal seems so distant to our squinting eyes and glory is darkened by drawn shades of ego driven doubt.

He alone can satisfy this insatiable longing with greater things than rags and dust. Do any seek Him?

He makes Himself findable and doesn't hide from those dirt-living weary. Do any love God? He has loved us. Where are His lovers?

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Weird Like Rain...

It comes down in drops, or torrents, or a barely visible mist
From up there, somewhere.
If you believe, then you know it comes from Someone and not just something.

If you don't believe, then what a strange occurrence rain is.
By chance, unguided, the world gets watered.
Without knowing, its weirdness is exactly what the Earth has ordered.
It is just what it needs
Or its deathly demise would be heaps of tumble weeds.

I wonder when it knew it was needed?
And at what moment was it conceived in the grand scheme of things?
Did the cosmos wait a billion years before it figured it out?
That two parts random gas and one part thin air were needed ingredients
For this primordial soup being stewed without a Chef?

I waited once in my kitchen for a billion years
And Nothing ever accidentally cooked a stew for me.

I nearly starved before I realized the simple stew that
I could cook for myself from other accidental ingredients
Would taste so good when I stirred the spoon and sipped from it
The concoction that consisted of ninety-five percent water.
Water that came from nowhere,
Unless you can venture to believe that God could conceive
Of something weird like rain.